IRONMAN RACE REPORT!

WHEW! Sooooooooooooo glad the race day has come and gone. On to eating and sleeping!

So on race day, I got up at 4:15 a.m. to eat and get ready to head down to the start line. By the time I got there around 5:15, it was pure mayhem already. Athletes and spectators everywhere! I got bodymarked and headed to transition to pump the bike tires up and put the remaining items in my bags. As soon as I think I'm done, I realize my sunglasses are missing. SHIT. After a quick hello to my the Tri-Turtle Lisa B., I head out of transition to find my athletic supporters to figure out the sunglass situation. 112 miles on a bike with no sunglasses is going to be brutal. Kevin runs back to the car to see if they are there, but no luck. So he hands his to a nice volunteer in transition to put in my "swim to bike" bag. (We discovered the next day that he actually had MINE lol - no wonder I couldn't find them lol)

We all funnell down to the beach start, and somehow I find myself in the 3rd row back in the middle of the pack. Probably not a smart decision, but I survived lol Lisa B. describes the mass swim start of 2500 people as "underwater cage fighting". True statement. I was hit, smacked, swum over, pulled back, bruised up, the entire 2.4 miles. I am willing to bet I drank a gallon of water along the way. I also had issues with my goggles leaking, so had to stop probably 12 times throughout the swim to empty them out. The swim was 2 laps, meaning we actually got out of the water, ran about 30 feet and got right back in for another fun-filled lap of "underwater cage-fighting" lol My first lap was 42 minutes, which meant the 2nd lap was 47 minutes. Oh well...I was still 45 seconds faster than my goal of 1:30:00, so I'll take it. The water was a chilly 58 degrees, but it didn't seem to phase me. Alot of others weren't so lucky - one pro took a few steps into the lake and came right back out. She said the water was too cold and she was calling it quits for the day. A few of my friends spent over 30 minutes in the heated "yurts" after their swims, and trying to avoid hypothermia. At one point in the 2nd lap, a boat came by and created a bunch of huge waves, which prompted all of us to pop our heads up at the exact same moment. One guy yelled "Tsunami!!!" It was quite comical. Try swimming while laughing - it doesn't work well.

Transition 1 was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that I forgot to pack a towel in my bag, so had nothing to dry off with. Thank god they had rolls of paper towels in the women's changing tent. I had to get a volunteer to help me roll my sports bra down in the back because my hands were so cold and I was wet! So I finally head out of T1 ready to bike and am greeted by my athletic supporters - my friend Robin, my boyfriend, Kevin, my sister, Sonja, her husband, Jamie, their two kids, Tori and Jaden, my daughters, Brenda and Rachel, Brenda's boyfriend, Andrew, and Rachel's kids, Cadence and Hunter. It was awesome!!

The bike course was beautiful, but so freakin' hilly! Whoever said there were "rollers" was LYING. We also did 2 loops on this course, so actually passed the spectators 4 times. It was still a little chilly, so I started out with my jacket on. It got ditched after the first big hill. The crowd support was awesome both in downtown CdA and in the town of Hayden. After the first loop, I was totally dreading having to go back to those hills again. Around mile 60, my bike wouldn't shift into low gears, so would just spin and I couldn't get any speed up, but I was still moving and not really hindered too badly. My nutrition was good - I stayed on track with my Erin Baker's cookies (Thank you MeeMaw!!!), and grabbed my PB&J sandwich at the special needs stop around mile 60. Planned bike time was 7 hours, but with the hills and bike issues, I ended up at 7:38.

T2 was pretty uneventful as well. The bike catchers took my bike in an instant and I never saw it again (which was good, because I was soooooooooo done with it!). I decided not to change my clothes to make up some time, and it worked out just fine. Again, I was greeted by my athletic supporters as I headed out on the run - so glad they were there! It was nice to see familiar faces. I warned them that this run was going to take a while.

The run course was also two loops of 13.1 miles each and took us out of town along the lakeshore pathway and then back into town. There was one MONSTER hill before the turnaround. I probably socialized more than I should have, but it made the run much more fun and interesting. The 2nd lap, I ran quite a bit more than I did the first one and was actually feeling pretty good. I planned on a 6 hour run, and ended up at 5:56. Can't ask for more than that! The run support was great - one rest stop had volunteers dressed up as characters from the Wizard of Oz, another had them dressed as pirates and wenches. For some reason they hadn't put the rum in the coke they were handing out though, so I told them I couldn't drink it. As darkness fell, they handed the remaining racers glow in the dark necklaces.

The day went suprisingly smooth for me. I never felt overwhelmed, over-tired, that I wouldn't finish, never had any stomach issues, and really had a great time. It's true, the training is the hardest part, and race day is a piece of cake. Well, maybe not that easy, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as I expected. I still stand by my "First and Last Ironman" statement. If the training wasn't so time consuming, I might consider it. But I need to have more in my life than just train, train, train.

For now, I'm going to enjoy catching up on my eating and sleeping!

Thanks to all my supporters - Kevin, Robin, Brenda, Rachel, Cadence, Andrew, Sonja, Jamie, Tori and Jaden! It meant so much to have all my loved ones there to witness this! Our team had lots of other supporters out there as well, including my coach, Kristen.

Now, to figure out what's next on the bucket list...

IT'S IRONMAN TIME!

It's here, well almost. All the hard work is about to pay off. I feel ready, except for this minor cold my body is trying to catch (I think it's in shock over the taper weeks). I'll try to post over the next few days but it depends on internet access where I am.

So here's my schedule for the next few days:

Today:
Last day of work
Massage with Robin
Dinner wth friends
Maybe a quick run.

Wednesday:
7 a.m. flight to Seattle
Pick up my beautiful grandkids and my gorgeous daughter, Brenda
Visit with family that is in town also, but will be gone by the time I get back from Idaho
Swim lesson with my friends Heidi and Kathy
Back to Rachel's house to see Hunter, Brett and maybe Rachel if I'm up when she gets off work.
BED!

Thursday:
Cadence and I drive back to Seatac to get on a plane to Spokane. Drive to CdA, get registered, pick up race packet materials, SHOP the Ironman store!

Catch up with my sister and her family that are flying in from Alaska.

Maybe get a short JOG in

Friday:
Hang out with sister and her family
Short bike ride and swim
Athlete dinner
My kids get into town sometime in the afternoon, Kevin gets in late that night

Saturday:
Check the bike in
Robin gets in

Sunday:
Up at 4:30'ish. IRONMAN starts at 7 a.m.!! I am approximating that I will be done NO LATER than 10 p.m. that night, and have rented a GPS that will track me along the entire course. When I receive it in the mail, I will post the link and information you need to track me.

Monday:
Up early to go to the Ironman Finisher's Store
RELAX WITH A BEER IN MY HAND!
Massage by ROBIN!
Boating with my sister and her family, Kevin & Robin

Tuesday:
Fly back to Seattle to spend a few days there before returning to Dallas on Saturday

It's going to be a whirlwind, I'm sure, but I'm ready to get this party started!

WISH ME LUCK! See you all on the flip-side!

Can anything be easy?!?!?!

Good lord... so yesterday my teamates received an email from Tri-bike transport that said we needed to drop them off with them by Thursday rather than Saturday, which threw a slight monkey wrench in our training plans, but we got it figured out. For some reason, I didn't receive this email, but I emailed the company to see why and make sure I really had a reservation! I also went to the website and emailed the information line the same questions. This morning at 10 a.m. I got a response from the gal that had emailed me the confirmation months ago, stating that yes, I indeed did have a reservation and all systems were "go". Whew! Praise the lord.

Meanwhile, emails were flying back and forth between my teammates and I about how displeased we were that the dates had been changed and at the last minute, when we really needed to be staying loose and riding these last few days before handing the bikes over for a week. Around 3 p.m., I get another email from a gal saying "No, you do not have a reservation". Uh, what? So I email her back a copy of the confirmation email I got earlier in the day from the other gal, and tell her she should check with this gal because she says I do have a reservation. Sheesh people...get your shit together!

So now that we have that situation under control (I think - more on this later), I head over to Richardson Bike Mart to pick up my bike that is getting a last minute tune-up and new bar tape on the aero bars. I dropped it off on Monday at lunch time and was told it would be ready for pick up on Wednesday by 5 - just in time for an after work ride. I called this morning to make sure, and they assured me it would be ready by 5. So I stroll in at 5:30 and they can't find my bike. After a few minutes of searching they find it in a back room, with nothing done to it whatsoever. GREAT. I have to hand it over in the morning to Tri-bike transport and it MUST HAVE A TUNE-UP!! So the guy tells me he'll start it right now and have it done by 7 p.m., which means my after-work ride is not going to happen. He offered to let me borrow a rental bike, but I didn't think this was a good idea, so I declined and went over to Sonic while they did my tune-up.

So while at Sonic, I cheated a little and had a kids cheeseburger and some tater tots, and they were really damn good! I sat in the driveup spot with the A/C and radio on for maybe 20 minutes and then decided to head back over to Bike Mart. Only the car won't start - dead battery. Good freakin lord. I knew my MeeMaw roomate was in the area, so I called her to come over and she happened to be about 2 blocks away. Of course neither of us have jumper cables let alone know how to use them lol Meanwhile, the guy from the bike shop calls and says my bike is done. Great. I can't get there to get it! So he tells me he'll call back in 5 minutes after he polls all the employees there to see if any of them have cables. Of course, out of about 20 MALE employees, NONE of them do. Great. As he and I are on the phone trying to figure this situation out, a car drives by with their window down in preparation to go through the Sonic drive through, so my loudmouth says "HEY! Do you have any jumper cables?". The man jumps out of his car and says "Lemme look". Success!!! I ask "Now, do you know how to use them, because we don't" lol He laughs and says "Yeah"...so MeeMaw goes to open her hood and can't do it (she thinks because of her broken hand - but it turns out she's pulling the parking break lever, not the hood lever) I said "MeeMaw, you're not even the blonde here!" Again, the guy laughs. He has my car started within about 2 minutes and after offering to buy his and his wife's Sonic dinner, I'm headed back to Bike Mart to get my bike.

So I pull up right in front of the service door and leave the car running so it doesn't die again. My bike is on the rack right by the door, all spit shined and looking speedy for the Ironman! Now my luck starts to change - they didn't charge me for the $100 tune-up! All I had to pay for was the new bar tape ($10.) SWEET!

I head home and call my friend Heidi to tell her about my horrible day and make sure she's ok because her son became a high schooler today lol Now the part that I didnt' get to tell her:

I walk in the door and get an email from the 2nd lady today that said I didn't have a reservation. Apparently, I somehow registered with a different bike transport company than all of my friends did, and I really don't have a reservation with Tri-Bike Transport, but mine is with Tri-TEAM transport lol

This is a good development for me, because they are still on the Saturday drop off schedule, which means I get to keep my bike for another couple of days (at this point, I'm not sure I want to lol) but it also means that I don't have to remove my pedals like Tri-Bike Transport requires. Tri-BIKE transport lets you leave everything on the bike, which is nice since of course, I don't know how to remove let alone put pedals back on lol

Unbelievable....so I did not ride tonight, but I CAN RIDE TOMORROW!!! I sure hope my Ironman "issues" are over and I can now have a fabulous race experience!

Ironman TRAINED!

The hard work is done, the final days are being counted down, we are in TAPER MODE and I FREAKIN' LOVE IT!!!

It's so nice to get some sort of life back outside of triathlon! This weekend I participated in the Swim Across America - this race was beneficial to me, as it was a 2-mile swim which I desperately needed to feel mentally ready for my 2.4 Ironman swim. It was also beneficial to raising money for cancer research. Every swimmer was required to raise $500 to participate. Some raised much more than that, and one man donated $100,000! Total raised for the day was $350,000! So awesome, and a very emotional morning as many people got up and told their stories of how cancer has affected their lives. We were given stones to write names of cancer survivors, or victims, and threw them into the water before we dove in, so that these people were "with" us as we swam for a cure. It was an awesome event, and although alot of people don't like to do fundraisers, and most of my friends and family just expect me to ask them for money for the latest and greatest fundraiser, this one was near and dear to my heart in many ways and I highly recommend it to everyone.

Signe, Me and Liz (MeeMaw #1) before the swim! (We're laughing now...)

After the event, I got to do something I have only done a handful of times in my life - kayaking! A group of 6 of us rented kayaks at Lake Grapevine and it was so nice to just do something DIFFERENT! After we kayaked, we waded and swam a bit in the water and it felt awesome in the heat. Then we went to get some food and drink, and finally headed home to shower and head to a birthday party. By the time I got to bed, it was 10:30 at night and I had not stopped all day!

So fun!

Karen, Minou, Robin and Me getting ready to paddle the lake!

The next morning, I had a 60-mile ride scheduled, but I "allowed" myself to sleep until damn well pleased, which turned out to be 9:30 a.m.! Victory! The only problem with that was that now I got to do my ride in the 95 degree heat of Texas. Oops. 38 miles into the ride at the lake, I headed for home to finish up on the trainer INSIDE with the A/C blasting.

So here it is Tuesday night, 12 days before the Ironman and we get an email from Tri-bike transport saying they have to have our bikes THURSDAY by 3 pm, rather than Saturday! Augh....my bike is at the shop right now getting a tune-up, so no rides for 2 days already and now they want it 3 days earlier??? Crap. It also means that my tri-bag that's going with it must be packed NOW.

So that's what got accomplished tonight, after I finally found time to clean my bedroom and bathroom!

Let the packing and preparation BEGIN! Taper is ON! Unfortunately, I'll be without a bike for 10 days prior to the race. Not really how I envisioned this week, and also means I'll probably have to go suffer on a spin bike at the gym just to keep loose. The spin bike is almost as bad as the Dreadmill. Gross.

On another note, Texas is getting very hot these days! I'm so glad that the long runs and rides are mostly over and I won't have to train in the dog days of summer! Next Wednesday I'll head to Seattle and then on over to Coeur d'Alene!

BRING ON THE IRONMAN!!!

3 weeks until Ironman!

Whew what a weekend! Saturday morning I cycled from Brookhaven College to Los Colinas for the Keifer Swim races (300, 750 and 1500 yards). I swam with Robin in the 300 (her first race in which she ROCKED IT!), and then participated in the 750 and 1500 yard swims for a total of 2550 yards of open water swimming. GREAT practice for the Ironman. The water was like bath water though, so no wetsuits were allowed.

Canoer's waiting to rescue drowners lol

The venue - Lake Carolyn in Los Colinas. The 1500 yard swim went up and down that canal.

Mass swim start!

Me exhibiting my HORRIBLE form! (But somehow it won me 1st place in my age bracket for the 750 race - I'm pretty sure I was the only one in it!).

So unfortunately, when I jumped in the water to start the first swim, I hit a "curb" beside the lake wall and bruised the CRAP out of my heel, which is also reeking havoc on my hip and back, so I must have really jarred it good. Freakin' fantastic. Good thing tomorrow starts TAPERING!!!

So today I woke up at 6:00 (after going to bed at 8:45 the night before - I was BEAT), and met some new friends for a long ride. I had 100 miles scheduled, and got 54 of them in outside with them until they had to get back for a birthday party. I headed home after getting some grub (starving!) and did the rest of the 100 miles on the trainer under the fan in the air conditioned apartment. Since it was 95 degrees out at 11:30 a.m., I decided this was a better option - besides, I got to watch a softball game and "Black Swan". What a trippy movie.

Me, Stacey, Serena and Michelle getting ready to battle the heat!

So we should be starting to taper our workouts off from now until the ironman, to give our bodies time to heal and rest up for the big day. The hard work is done, now just to get through the freakin' RACE! Holy smokes this stuff is a lot of work. What the hell was I thinking? I'll sure be glad when I can check "Ironman" off my bucket list.

3.3 weeks to go!

OMG I'm so tired...I'm tired of swimming, I'm tired of biking and I'm tired of running! I have no time to get anything done anymore. My house is trashed, I'm constantly doing laundry (workout clothes) and all I want to do is SLEEP! I can't even find time to BLOG! Good grief. My facebook has seriously suffered - and my friends know, I love me some facebook lol

Things should start slowing down a bit though as we begin the taper phase of Ironman training leading up to the race. THANK GOD!!! And it's perfect timing as the temperature and humidity in Texas are starting to get unbearable to be out running 18 milers in.

Yesterday I had a checkup with my internist to make sure my blood pressure is still in check and everything is good to go for race day. Other than a SUPER low heart rate (36 bpm!)all checked out great. They were amazed at how slow my heart rate is, but I can attribute part of that to good heredity and all the working out. It's good to know that I have the blessing of my doctor to go out and destroy my body for a day.

So if you don't hear much from me until after the race, please forgive me. Also, please don't come over to my house - it's trashed. Unless you want to clean for me?

Oh, and the BEST news I got this week - my BFF and now personal massage therapist for CdA is COMING TO THE IRONMAN WITH ME!! YAY FOR ROBIN RAY!!! If anyone wants her number for the best massage EVER - lemme know. She freakin' ROCKS!!!

Hermann Memorial Ironman 2011

Wow what an awesome Ironman Weekend! I’m sitting here utterly exhausted and I didn’t even run the event!

I drove to The Woodlands, TX on Friday after my swim and an attempted failed bike ride due to bad weather. (After 10 miles, the thunder, lightning and rain started in). The drive down to the Houston area was pretty uneventful for the first 100 miles, but the storm caught up with me again and it was relentless for a good 30 minutes with torrential downpours of mixed rain and hail that made me cringe with every pellet that hit my car. The sky was so dark that it looked like it was 10:30 at night. Cars slowed from 80 mph to 40 and had their flashers on. Finally the skies parted and I was back on track to meet my friend, Chris for dinner. Chris was participating in his first Ironman, so I wanted to get him carbed up and see how he was feeling about the next day. We had some great conversation during our pasta fest and Chris was feeling good about his upcoming race. You can read more of Chris’ Ironman journey here: http://www.thejourneytv.com. He is quite the interesting guy! So we said goodnight early because we knew we had to be up early (he wanted to be at transition at 5:00 a.m., while I got to “sleep in” until 5:30).

The following morning I awoke and was out the door in less than 30 minutes. I had to pack up my run gear because I had a 16 mile run on my calendar, which I planned to do as soon as the swim pack took off. With so many competitors and spectators, I had to park a mile away. I decided to turn my Garmin on at that point and count the miles to and from the car as part of my “run”.

There was a bridge overlooking the swim start transition area, so I stood up on a rail for around 20 minutes or so, waiting for the Ironman race to start. The energy was awesome! There were mothers, fathers, kids, grandparents, and all kinds of friends there to support their favorite future Ironman! Lots of them had made t-shirts in support, but I think the best ones I saw were on a wife and her two kids – “Ironman Widow” and “Ironman Orphans” lol So true…Ironman training is so time consuming!

Swim Transition early a.m.

The swim start was a mass start – meaning 2500 athletes (minus the pros who get a 10 minute head start) head out as soon as the gun goes off. This swim start was probably not the best way to start your Ironman experience – everyone had to get into the water and tread until the 7 a.m. start. As you can imagine, it takes quite a while to get 2500 athletes down a ramp and into place. Just prior to the gun start, the music switches to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Iron man” song. It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck! Freakin’ awesome!! Then before you knew it, the gun went off and it’s like 2500 birds taking off from the water – a huge wave of swimmers. I watched for a few minutes and then headed back to the car to get my run started.

Mass swim start!

The area around the Ironman had lots of paved pathways that went up and down the canal, so it was pretty and easy to find places to run. At mile 6, I somehow ended up back to where the swim start was. I looked at the clock and knew that Chris should be just about finishing up his swim, so I looked down the waterway and there he was! The timing was unbelievable, so I got my iphone out and snapped a picture of him getting out of the water. He had a great swim!

Chris is in blue!

The rest of my run was mostly along the Ironman run course (they were all either still in the water or out on their 112 mile bike ride, so I wasn’t in anyone’s way). There were quite a few other runners out there as well. I stopped at 15 miles because I had to get to the bike transition where some of my Triathlon team were volunteering for the day.

So in the bike transition, our assignment was to “catch” the bikes from the athletes as they came in from their ride and put the bikes on the racks in the correct location according to their race number. We were given a pink volunteer t-shirt and rubber gloves (some triathletes PEE on their bikes so they don’t have to take the time to stop). Not to mention the seats and handlebars are super sweaty. It’s pretty gross. *I* do not pee on my bike. I paid too much money for that thing to have it stinkified! We waited for nearly an hour before the first Pro came through – Chris Lieto, Mr. BadAss himself! Then more pros started trickling in, but we weren’t really doing much at that point. Probably an hour later, hoards of age-group athletes were finishing up the bike course. There were some points where we could hardly keep up with all the bikes! Some of them wanted to leave their helmet and/or shoes with them (which were also very stinky and sweaty –again, thank god for gloves!). So while I was running bikes back and forth (transition was HUGE with 2500 bikes), I kept my Garmin on, just to see how far we actually traveled. I added another 5 miles just in transition!

Volunteer shirt

It was actually quite the experience in there – I had several athletes say “Take it, I don’t ever want to see that bike again” or “you can have it” lol I wish they were serious – there were some NICE bikes! I definitely have bike envy. We saw some odd stuff too – one bike came in with what I swore was POOP on the top tube. I had to go over and look to see what the heck it was. This rider had cut his Powerbar (chocolate) into squares and literally STUCK it to the tube. Of course, the hot sun had melted it and so it looked like, well, poop! I’m glad to know it wasn’t, but also to know that this athlete probably didn’t pee on his bike lol

"Bike catchers" ready for action!

So by the end of our “shift” things were really calming down and I was really tired and sore from my morning 15 miles and then the extra 5 in transition. It was really hot and humid out so we were all soaking wet from sweat (ours, not from the bikes). It was really cool to see my tri-buddies come in and be able to chat with them a bit about how they were feeling and to give them a quick pep talk as they headed out to the run.

I learned a very valuable lesson over the course of the day - it's not the quality of bike that you ride, but the way you ride it. Yes, a nice bike helps, but I can't count how many riders with really nice, expensive bikes I saw come in that barely made the time cut off, and some with really old, heavy bikes that came in with very respectable times.

So around 5:00 I was starving, so I dismissed myself in search of food and water and then to go find my Coach where she was watching the run course.

The run course was a 8.73 mile, 3-loop course. By now, the athletes are really feeling the effects of a 2.4 mile swim and 112 mile bike ride in the Texas sun and heat. Many are walking or doing a slow “shuffle”. Some are almost painful to watch, but some are looking like they just walked out the door. After I finished off my grub, I headed out to find the Ironman store for some souvenirs. This Ironman, I got out the door for much less money than I spend on planning at Coeur d’Alene when I finish my 140.6!

So as darkness falls, I stood by the run course with my friend and fellow CdA athlete, Brian, and his girlfriend, Emily. We stood there cheering for our friends, but also for anyone that looked like they could use a little cheering lol We took a break and got some frozen yogurt and then headed back out. By now, my Garmin read 23 miles on the day. (I turned it off at this point, but was still running around for 4 hours, so who knows what my mile total was for the day. I bet I did a marathon!).

My friend Jim, finished a little before 9 p.m. I believe and yes, he was hurting! His massage with the best massage therapist in Texas, Robin Ray, is tomorrow. Well deserved Jim, well deserved!

We had seen Chris go by once on the run, so kept waiting to see him again. By 9:30, we still hadn’t seen him and I was beginning to get worried. I found his parents in the crowd and they were worried as well. I paced the run course quite a few times, looking for him in the athlete recovery area, the massage area, the medical tent, and couldn’t find him anywhere. We checked the online tracking – still nothing. Finally, around 10:30, we get ahold of him. He had severe cramps and swelling in his wrists and ankles, so he called it a day at mile 13. Still a loooooooooong way to go in one day, so Chris, BE PROUD! His parents and I helped him get his stuff out of transition and to the car, as he hobbled along (using his bike to lean on).

It was a brutally hot and humid day - one that even saw the #1 pro - Chris Lieto drop out during the run.

I got back to the hotel around 11:30, and still had not taken a shower – I felt completely disgusting. I think I spent about 20 minutes in there scrubbing myself down twice. After a few minutes of SNL, I turned the TV off and crashed in I swear 30 seconds.

My grand plans of “sleeping in” were not allowed – damn body clock. I was wide awake at 8 a.m. Unbelievable.

So today I drove back to Dallas and am so sore and exhausted that I feel like I did the Ironman – makes me wonder how bad I’ll feel when I really do mine lol

All in all, it was a fantastic experience to watch unfold and very inspiring. Just what I needed for the last 5 week push to get me to race day, especially after these past few weeks when I’ve had a serious “I don’t wanna” attitude. Ironman training, as I’ve said before, is grueling and so taxing on not only the athlete, but their friends and family. I am working out 18 hours a week now, and yes, I’m tired of it lol But I also can’t wait to hear “KRIS PARKS! YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!!!” and get that medal hung around my neck. And get my T-shirt. And get my Hat. And get my Tattoo. And, and, and…SLEEP IN!